Getting Through the Funk Days
Getting Through the Funk Days
Today has been a bit of a rough day. These days it’s rare that I have a funk day, but they still pop up occasionally. When I first got sober they happened often, and lasted for days on end. I would think “am I ever going to feel better again?” And then, the funk period would pass, and I would start to feel better again.
This is my cat, Fuzzball. He was having a funk day.
These days, when that happens, I know that it’s just temporary. It will pass eventually, and I should just let go and go with the flow.
On my funk days, I just want to throw up my hands and say “I don’t wanna!!” I want to say screw going to that meeting, screw writing in my journal, screw doing anything that requires that I be an adult, and just sit at home and be miserable.
I’m having a funk day today because I’m trying to start my own recovery blog. I got my domain name set up. Got WordPress installed. As I was trying to get in to WordPress to get started, I miss-read something, and couldn’t get in. Plus, I was writing out my first post earlier, and it involved thinking about some dark pieces of my past. Thinking about my mom and my cousin dying 2 days apart sent me down the rabbit hole. So, I understand why I’m in this funk, but it doesn’t help much when you’re sitting in it.
By the time I realized what I had done wrong on WordPress, and figured out what I needed to do, it was time for my meeting. Now, I had 2 options: 1. Sit at home, fight with my computer when I was already frustrated, and probably end up throwing the damn thing across the room. 2. Go to my meeting and chill the out.
I chose option 2. I’ve learned in my time of sobriety that when I am getting worked up, frustrated, and I feel the urge to throw things start to creep in, it’s time for an adult time out.
When I was young in sobriety I would keep pushing myself to keep going till I burnt myself out because I’m a perfectionist, and if things don’t go right, I’ll keep pushing till it does work. Not a good option.
I learned that when I keep pushing myself to perform, even on those crappy funk days, I burn myself out, or get frustrated, and then I’m worthless to do anything else for days after. But, if I take a time out, give myself time to work through the feelings or whatever is going on that day, and try again the next day, my life goes a lot smoother. I have time to think of a solution to the problem, or decide to just scrap the whole thing and go a different direction.
Something else that has worked well for me is getting it out of my head. In early sobriety, I would talk to my mentor and he would just say “It happens. Been there many times myself. It’s okay and it will pass.” Or, today for example, I decided to write it out. Getting it out of my head one way or another does exactly that. Gets it out of my head so it can’t keep rolling around up there, snowballing into a bigger mass than what I started with, and me farther into my funk than where I started.
The point is, time outs in sobriety are still a must for me. I don’t get anywhere if I keep pushing myself to be “on” all the time. This can work for someone not in sobriety too. It’s an all-inclusive thing, and I think that is beautiful.
So, next time you feel yourself getting agitated, or just don’t feel like adulting, give yourself permission to take it a little easier. I’m not saying call in sick to work or anything like that, but if you do have to work, don’t worry so much about being on top of your game. If you’ve got the day off, look at your to-do list and see what you can hold off on. Is there something that doesn’t need to get done today? Set it off to the side until you’re clear headed enough to do it. Cut yourself some slack. Try again tomorrow.
Originally published June 22, 2016 – medium.com