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Walking Through Fire – What 2017 Has Meant To Me

Walking Through Fire – What 2017 Has Meant To Me
Walking Through Fire – What 2017 Has Meant To Me

Tomorrow night, at midnight, the year 2017 will come to a close. This week I’ve been reflecting back on this year, and what it has brought me. I can sum it up for you in three little words:

Walked Through Fire

Yep, you read that correctly. But, I don’t mean literal fire. I mean the symbolic fire of the phoenix. Ever since I got sober, I’ve considered myself a phoenix. With each lesson I walk through the fire, am burned to ashes, and then re-born from those ashes into a new me.

This year in particular has been a fiery year for me. Some of the many lessons I’ve learned this year are:

Fear and Faith Do Go Together

I learned this year that fear and faith do go together. In the midst of my fear of starting this self-hosted blog, I had faith that it would work out. In the midst of my fear that I was going to lose my dad, I had faith that he would be okay. Was it difficult to keep that faith? Of course! But, it was still there, deep down within me. That faith helped me persevere through all the trials and low spots, and become a stronger person.

I Overcame My Fear of Sponsoring

I belong to a 12 Step Fellowship, and in that Fellowship, sponsorship is highly regarded. I had a fear of succeeding. I had a fear of failing – not only myself, but the person I would sponsor too. But, when I overcame that fear, and started sponsoring, I realized my fear was unfounded. I have received so much joy through working with other people one on one. And, being able to be a sounding board for someone else ignited my passion to become a Recovery Coach. If I hadn’t started sponsoring other people, I don’t think that passion would have come to the surface.

I Learned To Let Go – Almost

This year I’ve learned to let go, almost. I’ve loosened my grip quite a bit over this past year, I will say that. I’ve found myself caring less and less about what others are, or are not doing, and have been able to focus more on myself. Relinquishing that control has not been easy. Controlling my surroundings and people around me is a character trait of being an Adult Child Of and Alcoholic. But, with a lot of self-reflection, I’ve recognized it, and have learned to loosen my grip.

I Walked Through the Fire of Grief

This year, I walked through the fire of grief. As you may know, grief isn’t a one and done process. It is a continual process. I grieved my mom’s death more than I have since she passed away 12 years ago. And, I grieved for my lost childhood. It is still painful to think about, let alone write about now, but eventually I’d like to write more. For now, I will say I have grown tremendously through this grief.

I Let Go of Time

This year, I have learned to let go of time. I had always been so focused on being on time to places, focused on how much time I had to do things, and focused on how much time I didn’t have. It was exhausting. I never felt like I had time to do anything, which fueled my gift of procrastination. So, I decided to let go of time. I was blessed enough financially to go down to part-time at my job, which freed up time to do more things. I allowed myself to be unproductive if I didn’t feel like I had the energy to do something. And, I cut back on my 12 Step meetings, which also freed up more time. Instead of focusing on the clock, I focus on what I’d like to accomplish in a day. If I get it done, awesome. If not, I try again the next day. By not focusing on time, I find myself accomplishing more things, and I have the ability to do more of the things I love to do. Like reading, and spending time with my kitties.

Forever Grateful

As I look back at everything 2017 has brought me, I see so much growth, and possibility. By walking through fire, I have come out a stronger person than I was at this time last year. I am grateful for every lesson, trial, and hardship I have had this year because it has prepared me for what’s to come in 2018.

I have a good feeling about 2018. In the new year, I hope to begin my Recovery Coaching practice, start a non-profit organization for people in recovery, and help more people. Without the lessons I have learned this year, I don’t think I would be ready for all that. But, I am ready. I’m excited!

So, what about you? Are you looking back at 2017 and wishing it would go away already? Or, are you looking at all the opportunities for growth you’ve had, and feeling grateful for those lessons? I hope it’s the latter.

Remember, though the fire may burn you for a bit, you always come out stronger on the other side. May 2017 be filled with lessons, and 2018 be filled with opportunity. Happy new year!

Mindy

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1 Comment
  • Ruth says:

    You have come such a long way Mindy. You have figured out that you are made of lasting material and have a lot to give to others struggling to overcome their fears and find faith .puddincrosby@

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