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Day 23 – Wanting What I Have

Day 23 – Wanting What I Have
Day 23 – Wanting What I Have

Today I fell into the trap of wanting what someone else has, instead of wanting what I already have. I was playing a game on Facebook called Farm Town, which is a farming simulation game. My neighbor is at level 800, has every facility and tool available, and each farm is set up in a spectacular way. I found myself getting envious of her because I wanted what she had.

What I forgot in that moment was, she’s been playing for 6+ years. She’s had time to set up her farms over those years. She’s had time to accumulate the coins and Farm Cash to allow her to buy the facilities and other items. And, she’s put in the work that allowed her to reach level 800.

How many times in my life have I looked at one piece of someone’s life and felt envious of what they had? A hundred, a thousand, a million? All the while taking for granted the things or skills I already had. And, not considering the hard work it took for them to get what they had.

I remember seeing people who had more time than me when I first got sober, and wanting what they had. They were productive citizens of the world, they were happy, they had worked all the steps, and their lives seemed to be put together. What I didn’t consider was the blood, sweat, and tears it took to get to that place of happy stability. I also wasn’t grateful for my own sobriety.

Today in my life I try to remember to want what I have, and be grateful for it. My life is not perfect, but it’s better than I could have ever imagined. I remember the hard work, blood, sweat, and tears it took to get where I am today. And when I see someone with something I want, like healthy emotional sobriety, I ask myself how I can accomplish that. What steps do I need to take? What work do I need to do? Because it will take work to get there. I may have to work a little harder. Take a few more steps. But, if I truly want what I see in someone else, that work will be worth it in the end.

I’ve found it’s not always a bad thing to want what someone else has. In fact, it can be a good motivator for growth. But the motivation is only there if I remember to be grateful for, and want, what I already have.

Originally published January 29, 2017 – medium.com

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