Why Do You Stay Sober?
Why Do You Stay Sober?
Why do you stay sober today? This is a question I asked myself many times in early sobriety. On those dark, early days when nothing seemed to be going right. Those days when life didn’t seem worth living anymore. I questioned myself a lot in early sobriety. I wondered why I was staying sober when all I wanted to do was drink. I asked my Higher Power why I was still sober, when so many times I should have relapsed.
And then it hit me. I needed to find my why. I needed an answer to the question “Why do I stay sober?”
In the early days, I stayed sober for my cats. The thought of dying and leaving my cats behind terrified me. I always said if I drink again, I’m done living. But, I couldn’t leave my cats, who are my kids, my babies.
When I started allowing myself to get close to other people in my life, my sponsor especially, I stayed sober for them. My sponsor, who cheered me on in good times, and carried me when I was down. I would be letting him down. All the people who believed in me, even when I didn’t believe in myself. I would be letting them down too.
Over time, I started to believe I was worth staying sober for. I was not the horrible, worthless person I thought I was. My past mistakes did not define me as a person. And, I loved my sober life. I was grateful for the challenges, as well as the good times. That’s when I started staying sober for myself.
Today, I still stay sober for myself. I have a great life, and I’m happy 99% of the time because I don’t base my happiness on outside circumstances. But, that need to stay sober for myself is small in comparison to what I get when I help others.
This past year I’ve let myself get closer to others around me. I’ve learned to trust others, especially women. And, I’ve become open to helping others as well. The reason I stay sober today is, so I can help the still suffering alcoholic. So I can share my experience, strength, and hope with others, and help them stay sober today. I must give away what I have received to stay sober myself.
Instead of feeling like I have to go to meetings, I feel like I get to go. I enjoy helping others find solutions to their problems. I enjoy feeling like I’m making a positive contribution to the world. And, I feel so much better being sober, than I ever did while I was drinking. My why today is, stay sober for myself, so I can be of service to others.
Do you remember Harry Potter? He had to find a powerful, happy memory to produce his patronus. The answer to the question “why do I stay sober?” must be the same. Something that has weight. Something that’s powerful enough to carry you, and defend you from that evil mini me voice in your head.
So, I ask again, why do you stay sober? What drives you to get up in the morning, and live another day sober? I’d love to hear what drives you to stay sober today. Share in the comments below, or comment on Facebook here.
Whatever drives you today, whether it’s your kids, your pets, or yourself, stick with it. If it works for you, then keep it up. And always remember, you deserve a better life.